Hello again everyone. It's me again, Ben! I was inspired to write about this story because of a recent turn of events in my life. I remember the Pastor at the church I used to attend preaching a message one time about this very same story. A story that has stuck with me through the years and one that will always be held very close to my heart.
Pastor Kenneth H. Mendenhall (best Pastor in the whole wide world) of the Ironwood United Pentecostal Church of South Bend preached this very message. It, along with many others, is one of my favorite sermons of all time. I can't remember every detail of the story but I will do my best and I guarantee that by the time I finish, the moral of this story will be very clear.
"I love you with all of my hands." That's not one you hear everyday right? Most of the time you will hear someone say, "I love you will all of my heart." That is a much more common saying and a very good saying as well. It's just that "I love you with all of my heart" will never hold as much of a meaning with me every since I originally heard this story for the first time.
I have recently found myself using the words, "I love you" quite frequently. You might even say that I've been over using the words. Some people may argue that you can never over use the words "I love you" when referring to the people you hold dear to your heart and don't get me wrong, that is a very good point. But let's be honest. Talk is cheap. I know you've heard that before right?
No matter how many times you say those 3 little words and no matter how much you mean it, doesn't it make sense that sometimes it's nice to show someone how much you care for them rather than just saying it all the time? Well I certainly do. You may be thinking, "Okay Ben." "So how do I go about doing that?"
I'm not referring to material things here. Don't go out and buy that special someone in your life a diamond ring, some chocolate, or some flowers and think you are off the hook. And for God's sake don't you dare go out and get a tattoo with someone's name to show your love either. I mean, I know nothing says I love you more than a permanent disfiguring mark but I believe there are better and less painful ways to show your love.
Please don't get me wrong, the above ideas are nice to do occasionally (except for the tattoo, because that's just dumb) and I am a big fan of those romantic kind of things and have even been dubbed "a hopeless romantic" in times past. The truth of the matter is though, love cannot be bought, well not in any traditional sense involving monetary gain.
Okay. So just saying the words isn't enough, just buying nice gifts for you're loved one isn't enough, and getting a tattoo to show your love isn't enough either. Then what should I do? What is enough?
Action. I consider the word "love" to be a verb. I'm not going to turn this into an English lesson but we all know what a verb is. It requires action. Like run or jump. These words are verbs as well and you let me show you how not taking action may present a big problem for you.
Let's pretend you are out in the woods with a friend looking for a good place to set up a deer stand. All of a sudden and out of nowhere a swarm of bees pops up right behind your friend. You scream at the top of your lungs to warn your friend of the impending danger. "RUN!" "There is a swarm of bees on your tail!"
Your friend hears your concerned cries and begins to yell back, "RUN!" What he doesn't do though is perform the action and actually run. He just continually stands there yelling, "Run, Run!"
What happens to your poor friend? Well at the very least he will probably end up with a few stings need some Benadryl. Hopefully he doesn't end up like Macaulay Culkin from the movie "My Girl" where he had a sever allergic reaction and went on to meet his maker. If only he would have taken some action and actually ran when you warned him to.
I consider love to be the same way. Sure saying it is nice and I'm sure your loved ones can appreciate the verbal recognition of your feelings for them. Every now and then though, I think it's nice to go the extra step and take some action to show those closest to you just how much you really care. Still not exactly clear as to where this is going? That's okay because you will be. Let's get back to the story.
One day, up and out of the blue, the boy said to his grandma, "Grandma, why are your hands so ugly?" With tears in her eyes the grandma answered back in a weary unstable voice, "They got this way because of all the love they have given over the years."
This immediately brought back memories of her younger days when people used to make fun of her for the way her hands looked. For quite sometime, she used to wear gloves anytime she left the house because she was embarrassed of the disfiguring scars all over her hands.
It wasn't until the Pastor of the local church she attended learned of how her hands got this way and offered her the words of encouragement she needed to quit feeling ashamed, that she began feeling comfortable leaving the house again without her gloves.
Johnny, the little boy, still didn't get an accurate response as to why her hands looked like that but the grandma figured he was too young to understand anyways, so she put the thought far from her mind and decided that one day, when he was older, she would explain everything to him.
The years pass quickly for the little boy and his grandma. It was clear that Johnny's grandma definitely had more years behind her then she did in front of her. Somewhere along the way, the boy, who was now well into his teens, let those words his grandma used to whisper in his ear at bedtime sort of fade from his mind.
After all, it had been many years since his grandma tucked him in at night and she was the only one he had ever heard use that phrase. "I love you with all of my hands" was lost somewhere deep in the boys subconscious mind.
Then it happened. Johnny was in his senior year of high school and was in second period when he got a message to report to the principles office. "What did I do now?" The boy thought as he scurried along to the office.
When Johnny got to the office, he was surprised to see his dad standing there and immediately he got a sick feeling deep within the depths of his stomach. He knew that something had to be wrong just by the look on his dad's face. He could see in his dad's eyes that he had been crying. In all the years Johnny had been alive, he couldn't recall ever seeing his dad cry.
"It's Grandma." Said Bob, Johnny's dad. "She is in the hospital and the doctors say she probably won't make it through the night." Johnny was in awe. He wasn't so naive as to think his grandma would live forever but he certainly didn't see this coming right now.
In the car on the way to the hospital no one made a sound. The windows were down and the radio was turned off. Just the humming of the wind and the sound of the tires on the pavement was all that could be heard. Johnny's mind was racing and all he could think about was how much he and his grandma had drifted over the years.
What Johnny didn't know, was that his fathers mind was racing too. After all that his mom had done for him as a child and then helping to raise Johnny after his wife had passed away during birth flooded his mind. He was full of emotion and soon found himself feeling angry at God for first taking his wife and now getting ready to take his mother too.
When they got back to the hospital they were immediately approached by the nurse on duty. "You better come quick." "If there is anything that either of you would like to say to her, I suggest you do it now." "She doesn't have much time."
The words echoed through their heads as they stood in the doorway just watching their mom and grandmother. They could see she was struggling with every breath.
Bob was the first to make a move and approach the bed of his dying mother. "Mom I love you so much!" he exclaimed. "I can't believe Jesus would take you from us right now!" he cried. "And right when Johnny is getting ready to graduate!"
"Bite your tongue right now young man." Came the voice of his dying bother as struggled to breath. "Have you forgotten everything I taught you?" "Jesus loves us all more than we can even imagine." "He showed us his love with his own two hands, as he allowed the spikes to pierce his skin and he hung on the cross so all humanity could live eternally."
"I know mom but it just doesn't seem fair." Replied Bob. "Life often isn't fair." Said the struggling old lady. "We make the best with what God gives us and always keep in mind that everything happens for a reason." "I have lived a long life and had the pleasure of helping you raise my grandchild." "I could ask for nothing more." "Now can you please send little Johnny over here?" "There is something I have to tell him."
Johnny approached his grandmothers bed with tear filled eyes. "I love you so much Grandma." He said. "I can tell you are in a lot of pain so if you're ready to go, it's okay." "Go be with Jesus Grandma but just know I will miss you so much and I love you with all of my heart."
"What did you just say?" His grandma whispered back. "You love me with all of your what?"
"My heart Grandma!" "My heart." "I love you with all of my heart." Replied Johnny.
A tear rolled down his grandmothers cheek.
"Johnny, do you remember when I used to tuck you into bed at night?" "Of course Grandma." "How could I forget." "I used to not be able to sleep until you could tuck me in." Said Johnny.
Johnny couldn't help but notice a look of sadness come over his grandma's face as another tear rolled down the other side of her cheek. He reached out and grabbed one of her scarred, disfigured hands and clenched it tight with his own.
"Do you remember what I used to tell you every night right before I would leave your room?"
"Um, I'm not sure Grandma." "Can you remind me."
"I love you with all of my hands." She said, as she closed her eyes and appeared as if she had fallen asleep.
"Please never forget that Johnny, never ever forget that." Was the last words she mumbled before the medical equipment around her started making a bunch of noise.
Within no time the room had filled up with medical staff and Bob and Johnny were asked to wait in the hall. A few minutes later they were approached by a doctor who confirmed their suspicions. Betty, the little old lady, who was a great grandma to Johnny and the worlds best parent to Bob, had indeed passed on.
A couple days passed by and Johnny couldn't get his grandma's last words out of his head. "I love you with all of my hands" She had said. "Please never forget that Johnny."
"What does that mean Grandma?" He said as he looked up at the sky hoping some way she could just yell down and answer him. Unfortunately, she never did.
At the funeral when everyone got their turn to go up and say there goodbye's. Johnny noticed his dad clasping on to his grandma's scarred hand for dear life. Tears were rolling down his fathers face and he was sobbing out loud. All through growing up he hadn't so much as see his dad shed a single tear. He couldn't even recall his dad ever saying ouch when he would hit his thumb with a hammer or something. Now, in three days time, he had seen his father break down and cry four times. This was just too much for Johnny to bear and he too began to cry.
It was now his turn to approach the coffin and say goodbye to his grandma. The woman who raised him like he was her own child. He reached down and grabbed her disfigured hands and began stroking them with his own. Suddenly he remembered the time when he was younger when he told his grandma that she had ugly hands.
"How could I have been so cruel?" He thought to himself and began to cry even harder.
And that's when it hit him. He remembered his grandmother saying that her hands got that way because of all of the love they had dealt out over the years. He still didn't completely understand this and was still beating himself up over telling his grandmother that she had ugly hands but he was determined to get to the bottom of this and find out just what she meant.
Later that night, the whole family got together for dinner. Johnny and Bob were joined by Betty's two sisters, Thelma and Helen, and Johnny's uncle Barney from his dad's side of the family. About half way through dinner, Johnny spoke up and his words came as quite a shock to the entire family.
"You know how grandma's hands were all scarred up and kind of disfigured?" No one answered. "Well, I asked her how they got that way once and all she told me was it was from all the love she poured out over the years." "Can someone please tell me what she meant by that?"
There was a long pause and the room was so quiet you could have heard a pin drop.
Finally, his dad rolled up his right sleeve and revealed a nasty scar near his right shoulder. "You see this scar?" Bob said.
"Yeah Dad." Said Johnny. "You told me you got burned when you were a baby right?"
"That's right." Answered Bob. "We just never told you the whole story because it was a very emotional subject for your grandmother."
"You see, your grandfather, my dad, loved me and your grandmother very much but he had an alcohol problem."
"One night, before you were born, when I was just a baby, your grandma had already tucked me in and had went to bed herself." "Later that night, my father came home from the bar and had had just one too many drinks."
"Apparently, he used to like to sit in the rocking chair in the nursery and watch me sleep." This night was no different."
"He came into the nursery and sat there in the rocker but must have passed out." "He didn't have time to put his cigarette out he must have dropped it onto the floor next to him."
"The fire spread quickly through the room and engulfed your grandfather in no time."
"Luckily, the smoke detector went off and your grandma is a very light sleeper."
"When she got to the nursery the flames had already consumed your grandpa and there was no way for her to reach the crib to get to me."
"Your grandma was a very determined lady and she loved her family very much so she did the only thing that made sense to her." "She reached her hands through the flames and into the crib." "She snatched me up and ran outside."
"When the fire trucks and ambulance arrived she was looking me over to make sure I was alright." The paramedic said she was crying uncontrollably."
"Are you hurt mam?" Screamed the paramedic. "I'm fine." Answered your grandmother. "I'm just worried about my baby." "He has a burn on his shoulder.? "Let me have a look." exclaimed the paramedic as he reached out to take me from your grandmothers hands.
"It was then that he seen how badly your grandmothers hands had been burned in the fire and passed me to another medic who was standing by."
"Mam, your hands are very badly burnt and I think you are in shock." "Those are third degree burns and we have to get you to a hospital right away." Is there anyone else in the house?" Said the frantic paramedic.
"My husband." Said your grandma. "But it's too late." "The fire had completely consumed him by the time I got to the nursery."
"Your grandmothers hands had been burned beyond repair and she lived a hard life from that day forward." "For a long time she wouldn't even leave the house without gloves because people would whisper, stare, and call her names."
The whole room grew silent again. Johnny couldn't help but shed some more tears thinking about his grandma and how hard it must have been as a young adult to have such a noticeable disability. Finally, Johnny spoke again.
"Poor Grandma." He said. "That must have been awful."
"Well young man." Said his Aunt Helen. "Although it took sometime, your grandmother finally realized that Jesus had a similar experience."
"His hands weren't burnt protecting his loved ones but something else happened to his hands."
"That's right, the nails on the cross right?" Sobbed Johnny.
"That's right." Aunt Thelma butted in. "And Jesus was put on display for all the world to see and a crown of thorns was placed on his head but he wore those burdens proudly."
"I die, so that others won't perish, were his words." Said Aunt Thelma.
No one spoke throughout the remainder of dinner.
After dinner, Bob and Johnny wished their relatives goodnight and Bob advised that everyone should try to get some sleep. Helen and Thelma had a long drive tomorrow because they lived two states away and neither of them liked to fly.
"Goodnight." They all said to one another and headed off to their designated sleeping areas.
Helen took Betty's room and Thelma slept on the couch. Bob and Johnny of course slept in their own beds that night.
Laying in bed Johnny just kept thinking about his grandma's last words. "I love you with all of my hands." "Please don't ever forget that Johnny."
"I won't grandma." Johnny said out loud. "And I understand now, I understand everything now."
He closed his eyes and drifted off to sleep.
~ The End ~
That's the story or at least as much as I can remember of it. I'm sure some things are off but you get the idea right? Sometimes words just aren't enough and when they're not, action has to be taken. Action that will indeed show your loved ones how much you care.
The next time you catch yourself telling those dearest to you, "I love you with all of my heart" stop yourself and say this instead.
"I Love You With All Of My Hands!"
They may give you a funny look but who knows? One day, they may very well understand exactly what you meant.
Thanks for reading and I hope this touched the hearts of some of you readers. I try to live a simple life and I don't think there is anything simpler than showing your loved ones how much you care. Take action! Show them now how much they mean to you! Tomorrow may be too late.
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